New Age National Capitalism..!

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM -- You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

FRENCH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon™ and market them world-wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION -- You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A HINDU CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You worship them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION -- You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

THE ENRON CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

ARTHUR ANDERSON, LLC -- You have 2 cows. You shred all documents that Enron has any cows, take 2 cows from Enron for payment for consulting the cows, and attest that Enron has 9 cows.


Any nations missed out here will be featured in a coming post. I promise...;)

Definition of KISS...!

Professors of different subjects define the same word in different ways:

Prof. of Computer Science:
A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte.

Prof. of Algebra:
A kiss is two divided by nothing.

Prof. of Geometry:
A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines.

Prof. of Physics:
A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.

Prof. of Chemistry:
A kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.

Prof. of Zoology:
A kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary bacteria.

Prof. of Physiology:
A kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicular ors muscles in the state of contraction.

Prof. of Dentistry:
A kiss is infectious and antiseptic.

Prof. of Accountancy:
A kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.

Prof. of Economics:
A kiss is that thing for which the demand is higher than the supply.

Prof. of Statistics:
A kiss is an event whose probability depends on the vital statistics of 36-24-36.

Prof. of Philosophy:
A kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.

Prof. of English:
A kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction; it is more common than proper; it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.

Prof. of Engineering:
Uh, What? I'm not familiar with that term

Know the use of nails...?

If you love someone, dont keep in your heart, keep in your nails,
becoz if you fail in love, dont break your heart,just cut out your nails.

An Open-secret:
Thats the reason girls grow nails...!

~~~ Prasad

Seasons of LOVE!

Jan-Rose
.
Feb-Propose
.
Mar-Gift
.
Apr-Lift
.
May-Chatting
.
Jun-Dating
.
Jul-Kiss
.
Aug-Miss
.
Sep-Drop
.
Oct-Escape
.
Nov-Rest
.
Dec-Next...!

In the Company of a COW!!!

A few 'isms' that you might not have known,YET!!!

Njoy!

---

INFOSYSism
You have a 1000 poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, & send them one at a time to the US for milking.

PATNIism
You have 10 cows. You make them work so that they give milk of 100 cows.

WIPROism
GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk.

DELLism
Intel has a Goat. Samsung has a Camel. Buy milk from both & sell it as Cow's milk.

IBMism
You have old stubborn cows. You sell them as pet dogs to innocent small businessmen.

MICROSOFTism
You have a cow. Force the world to buy milk from you. Spend a million dollars to feed poorer cows.

SUNism
You have a bull. It doesn't give milk. You hate Microsoft.

ORACLEism
You have a cow. You don't know which side to milk, so you sell tools to help milk cows.

SAPism
You don't have a cow You sell milking solutions for cows implemented by milking consultants.

APPLEism
You have a cow. You sell iMilk.

SONYism
You have a cow. You spend $50 mn to develop the world's thinnest milk.

CITIBANKism
Welcome to Citibank. If you have a cow, press 1. If you have a bull, press 2...stay on line if you'd like our customer care to milk it for you.

HPism
You don't know if what you have is a cow. You sell complete milking solutions through authorised resellers only.

GEism
You have a donkey. People think you have a 100-year old cow. If someone finds out, that's his imagination at work.

RELIANCEism
You don't yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs. 501, because Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk.

TATAism
You have a very old cow. You re-brand it as TATA Indicow.

---

An awesome contribution sent in by BH. Thanks.
Any new 'isms' are welcome.

Three Laws of Sir Issac Newton...

First Law:

"A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until on unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy."



Second Law:

"The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance."



Third Law:

"The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals."

Newton's Law...!!!

Newton in Romantic mood!

" Love can neither be created nor be destroyed;

Only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend

with some loss of time, money & effort (not necessarily in the same order). "

Girls...

Some 'sage' said...

Girls are like Medicine...

They are indispensable

But they do come

with an "Expiry Date".

---

Not just Kidding, Guys.

Smart - Fool

Smart Boy + Smart Girl = Affair

Smart Boy + Foolish Girl = Pregnency

Foolish Boy + Smart Girl = Pocket Empty

Foolish Boy + Foolish Girl = Marraige

So, whoever you are, DO NOT Be FOOLISH!!!

WhaT a MotheR ThinkS...?

EverY MotheR HopeS ThaT

HeR DaughteR WilL MarrY a BetteR MaN ThaN ShE DiD, and

Is ConvinceD That

HeR SoN WilL NeveR FinD a WifE aS GooD aS HiS FatheR DiD

---

Thanks Prasad~!

Marraige Question and .......

Q: When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake?
A: On their Wedding !

Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Bcoz they are already leading a dog’s life!

Q: Why doesn’t the India law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence !

Any more questions? We are ready to accept them into our curriculum!

Woman

Answers for five Questions related to the subject area: Woman.

---

Que: What is a woman?
Ans:


Que: What are the properties of a woman?
Ans:

Que: What are the chances of a man winning an argument over a woman?
Ans:
Que: Understand the divine law.
Ans:

Que: Mission: Buy a air of Pants
Ans:
No more Ques! Its Enuff!

PS: No intension to hurt any female body.

Nth Letter!

Did you guys see anything peculiar about the following lines?
.
.
.
I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalizes intercommunications incomprehensibleness
.
.
.
.
No. Try Now.
.
.

I
do
not
know
where
family
doctors
acquired
illegibly
perplexing
handwriting
nevertheless,
extraordinary
pharmaceutical
intellectuality
counterbalancing
indecipherability,
transcendentalizes
intercommunications
incomprehensibleness

Got it???
.
.
.
.
Yes,
This is a sentence where every nth word in it is N letters long.
e.g. 3rd word is 3 letters long, 8th word is 8 letters long and so on ...

Free. Free.. Free...

Free!
Free!!
Free!!!

Nokia N-series handset
+
Rs 2500/- recharge coupon
+
Rs 500/- bonus talk time
+
International SMS free!!!

Just Log on to
www.aasa-dosa-appadam-vada.com

W-O-R-D-S

I straight one...

---

When WORDS are not enough...
To express your feelings...

Dont think you are in LOVE...
.
.

You just NEED TO ATTEND some,
SPOKEN ENGLISH CLASSES!!!

---

Life is ???

Many try to preach the moral values through simple aspects of our life. But nobody can get as straight as this.

---

Life is full of hurdles and pains;
Dont giveup even if you fall...

Getup...

Stand Straight...

and

ASK...

Salaa! Dhakkha kisne diya ...????

---

Films by Dentists!

An assorted collection of Films made by our Dentists...

Daant HO Na Ho;
A Who-cares-if-you-have-teeth film!

Jaanam Brush Karo;
A love story which highlights a simple aspect of our daily life: Brush regularly!

Kabhi teeth, kabhi gums;
A thriller!

Aa ab clean kare;
A motivational film!

Hamare Daant aapke pass hye;
The Mistaken-Exchange movie!

---