Do you know English?

This is actually a forward. I liked it.

A NORMAL PERSON : People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
GRE STUDENT : Individuals who make their abodes in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting perilous projectiles.
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NORMAL PERSON : Twinkle, twinkle, little star
GRE STUDENT : Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minim.
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NORMAL PERSON : All that glitters is not gold.
GRE STUDENT : All articles that coruscate with esplendence are not truly auriferous.
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NORMAL PERSON : Beggars are not choosers
GRE STUDENT : Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.
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NORMAL PERSON : Dead men tell no tales
GRE STUDENT : Male cadavers are incapable of rendering any testimony
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NORMAL PERSON : Beginner's luck
GRE STUDENT : Neophyte's serendipity.
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NORMAL PERSON : A rolling stone gathers no moss
GRE STUDENT : A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of small, green, biophytic plant.
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NORMAL PERSON : Birds of a feather flock together
GRE STUDENT: Members of an avian species of identical plumage tend to congregate.
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NORMAL PERSON : Beauty is only skin deep
GRE STUDENT : Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity
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NORMAL PERSON : Cleanliness is godliness
GRE STUDENT : Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.
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NORMAL PERSON : There's no use crying over spilt milk
GRE STUDENT : It is fruitless to become lachrymose of precipitately departed lactile fluid.
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NORMAL PERSON : Look before you leap
GRE STUDENT : Surveillance should precede saltation.
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NORMAL PERSON : He who laughs last, laughs best
GRE STUDENT : The person presenting the ultimate cachinnation possesses thereby the optimal cachinnation.
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NORMAL PERSON : All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
GRE STUDENT : Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes of hedonistic diversion renders Jack a hebetudinous fellow.
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NORMAL PERSON : Where there's smoke, there's fire!
GRE STUDENT : Where there are visible vapours having their provenance in ignited carbonaceous materials, there is conflagration.
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NORMAL PERSON : You can't try to teach an old dog new tricks
GRE STUDENT : It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with innovative maneuvers

Honest Answers to Interview Questions…………

1.Why did you apply for this job?

I have applied for many jobs along with this and you called me now.

2. Why do you want to work for this company?

I have to work for some company who ever gives me a job, I don't have any specific company in mind.

3. Why should I hire you?

You have to hire some one, you may give me a try.

4.What would you do if this happened?

Well, it depends my mindset and mood at that situation...

5.What is your biggest strength?

Basically, daring to join any company who pays me well, without thinking of the fate of company

6.What is your biggest weakness?

Girls

7.What was your worst mistake, and how did you learn from it?

Joining my earlier company and learnt that I need to jump to get more money, so I am here today

8.What accomplishments in your last position are you most proud of?

Had I accomplished any in my last position, why do I need to change my job? I could demand more and stay there.

9.Describe a challenge you faced and how you overcame it?

Biggest challenge is answering the question "why are you looking for a change" and I started blabbering irrelevantly to overcome that.

10.Why did you leave/ are you leaving your last job?

For the same reason why you left your earlier job

11.What do you want from this job?

If no work is given but keep giving good hikes

12.What are your career goals and how do you plan to achieve them?

Make more money and for that keep jumping companies for every 2 yrs

13.Did you hear of our company and what do you know of us?

Yeah, I know that you will ask this, I've gone through your website

14.What is the salary expected and how do justify that?

Well, no one will change job for the same salary, hence, give me 20% extra than what I am getting and that is unpublished industry standard

(I know you will bargain on what ever I ask, hence, I have already hiked my current salary by 30%)

Have a nice day, friends!

What is a Ph.D?

A sardar joke for a change. No intensions to hurt anyone.

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Interviewer: What's your name?

Sardar: Sir, I am Doctor Singh.

Interviewer: What's your qualification?

Sardar: Ph.D.

Interviewer: What do you mean by Ph.D?

Sardar: (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY!@#$%

Interviewer faints.

College Life!!!

Its good. And applicable to all student community. Few for guys and few for gals.

I can say one thing.

Njoy....

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LATE BED WAKINGS.

SLIGHT BREAKFASTS.

BUSSTAND FIGURES.

FOOT BOARD TRAVELS.

LATE ATTENDANCE.

LONG INTERVALS.

SHARING CANTEEN FOOD.

DISCUSSION ON BEAUTIES.

MOBILES IN SILENT MODE.

LATE NIGHT CHATS.

SOME 'MIS'UNDERSTANDINGS.

GETTING FRIENDS HELP 4 EXAMS.

STRUGGLE 4 MARKS.

PRESTIGE IN ARREARS.

MASS BUNK OF CLASSES.

FRIDAY NIGHT MOVIES.

ENJOYING GROUP ARGUMENTS.

RAG JUNIORS ON FRESHER'S DAY.

LEAVE FRIENDS ON FAREWELL DAY, WITH TEARS!!!

COLLEGE LIFE IS GOLDEN LIFE.

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I agree college life is lot more than this. But i think these are the FEW things that most students love to remember and cherish all through their lifes.

Thanks to Mayank Verma for the three-part SMS.

Friends, any differing opinions???

Who's GREATER???

A Mother or a Teacher???

Guess!!!
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Didn't get the Answer???
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Definitely, a Teacher. Why??
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B'coz, a mother can put ONLY ONE child to sleep!
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But, a Teacher puts the whole class to sleep...!

What say, fellas??

Perfect...

There's only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it.
There's only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbour has it.

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Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects...

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Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver & wife kidney.

If liver fails, kidney fails.
But if kidney fails, liver manages with the other kidney.

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The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed
it can take a picture of a woman
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with her
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.mouth shut!